“On the Lot’s” nutty judges

August 8, 2007 at 5:54 pm (pop culture)

Admittedly, I haven’t been watching every episode of Fox’s “On the Lot”, but the six or so times I have tuned in I’ve been pretty impressed by the short films the directors churn out every week. My pick to win is Will, the adorable balding wee man, who consistently delivers fun and well-made stories. However, considering this country’s movie-going habits (can anyone explain how I Now Pronounce Chuck & Larry is still in the top ten?) the immature but slick Jason will probably walk home with the grand prize. Either way, while one may not be my cup of tea, both men are talented and deserve a chance to pursue their dream.

I wish I could say the same thing for the show’s loopy ass judges Carrie Fisher and Garry Marshall. The first time I watched the show I remember being utterly repulsed by Marshall’s repeated references to the attractiveness of the female directors and the host, Adrianna Costa.
Granted, each show Costa makes a point to dress in an overly formal evening gown that provides full visual access to the “girls” in all their glory. Every time I change the channel I have to remember that she isn’t a “Deal or no Deal” model but actually is the host, although for all the insight she provides into the show’s proceedings she may as well be just there holding an empty suitcase. Nonetheless, Marshall’s comments were lecherous and his obvious distaste for the female directors who ventured into gross out humor was predicated by his outdated suggestion that they weren’t dealing with “women’s issues” or making use of their “female voice”. As if women can only talk about bearing children or crying over a man in their films. If I made a film about my period and played it in graphic detail for laughs, then arguably that would be a “woman’s issue” made with my “female voice” (indeed, my female part itself) , yet I don’t think he’d be amused. Not only that, but when was the last time Garry Marshall directed a good movie –Georgia Rule anyone? People keep bringing up Pretty Woman, which was 17 frakkin years ago. He mostly directs sappy chick flicks like Beaches (which I LOVE) and Raising Helen (which I HATE) and last time I checked, he was a man. By his gender role theory he should be tackling Michael Bay material.

As for Carrie Fisher, normally a fabulously funny and generally awesome gal, comes off like a combination of Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. Incoherently rambling the same 4 or 5 phrases about everyone’s work and often just not getting where the director is going with tone or theme. Occasionally, the gears will start working and she’ll pop off a couple of amazingly clever zingers – but overall it’s a pretty dismal performance from a woman who is often PAID to be a script doctor and punch up flat dialogue.

Therefore, it falls to the guest judges to provide constructive criticism and assessments of the directors’ works. Last night a surprisingly serious F. Gary Gray had incisive but friendly critiques of the flaws and highlights of each film. Gary Ross and D.J. Caruso also stand out in my mind as good judges.

On the Lot is a fabulous idea for a series and I hope it sticks around for a while so that aspiring filmmakers get a shot at the big time, but the show has to have a serious sit-down with Garry and Carrie and get them to start making sense!